The Beginning

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

The Lord knew you before you were even born into this world. He had already set his plans into motion.

November 8th, 2016 I walked into the doors of the supermarket. I remember seeing the local radio station having a coat drive for kids. I grabbed the first pregnancy test I saw and went straight to the jackets. I bought the warmest jacket they had and gave it to the DJs. Just a small act of kindness.

I tucked the test away in a bag and went on to work. Several hours had passed when I realized I had forgotten to take the test. Yepp..You guessed it.. Pregnant.

For months I told no one. I kept every symptom to myself, every worry, every tear. By December I decided to contact an adoption agency.

December 13th, 2016 First doctors appointment. Confirmation of what I already knew. My Due date would be July 11, 2017.

By January I had told a few family members. In my eyes, they were a bit hesitant about my decision to place little one up for adoption, but I already had my eyes on a couple. In my heart I knew they would be absolutely perfect parents!

February 7, 2017 My first phone call with M&A (sweet baby’s Mom and Dad) I believe we only spoke for an hour, but in that hour I learned so much about them. The most important of all was that they are a close knit family! I found them. The perfect little family. The answer to my prayers. My family was getting comfortable with my decision. They knew I would only do what was right.

February 21, 2017   20weeks pregnant. I walked into get a sonogram, alone. I’ve gone to mostly all my appointments by myself, but this one hit me. I had support, yet I sat in the waiting room by myself. My name was called. It was time to find out the gender of this baby.

I decided to make a cute reveal for M&A. We were having a boy! Every time I sent an email or a text to them I felt whole. I was beyond excited for them. This baby was going to be well taken care of.

By late June M&A had already flown in to Texas. We spent loads of time getting to know each other, teaching them the ropes of good ol’ Texas, and trying barbecue. By this time I knew for certain this was the family God had chosen for this beautiful child. My eyes still light up knowing he had his plans all set into motion.

Fast forward July 4, 2017. Induction day. We all arrived at the hospital around 630am. I could see how nervous both M&A were. I was admitted into my room, now all we had to do was wait.

It was almost noon, my contractions were getting closer together, only a little while longer. Everyone that came to the hospital with me decided now would be a great time to run to the cafeteria and grab a bite to eat. A decided to stay by my side.”No way am I going to leave you.” I am so glad she stayed, because not to long after everyone else had left it was time. Nurses and doctors were called. A held my hand the whole time.

1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8..9.. Breathe.. and again. 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9.. Okay last time.. I could see A’s eyes getting bigger, I knew he was almost here. 1..2..3..4..

At 1250pm. A 6 pound 13ouce bundle of joy. I cried for only a split second. I thought to myself “You have to be strong. Strong for him and strong for his parents” My attention was now focused on A. All I could see was pure happiness. A sense of relief that baby and I were okay. 20170919_105820

This picture says it all. I can’t really put into words the emotions flooding through the room that day. This is what Love looks like. Two mothers sharing a beautiful moment.

Only moments later M came into the room. The pride of now having a son was written all over. He picked up baby boy from the bassinet and there was a shine in his eyes.  It does my heart good knowing that this sweet baby was going to have two parents, a whole family to love him unconditionally. They decided to name him Weston. It was perfect, he was perfect, they were perfect in my eyes.

The next few days were amazing. I got the chance to watch M&A take such good care of little Weston. Seeing them change his diaper for the first time, watching them learn how to feed him and swaddle him was icing on the cake! The time we spent in the hospital together was everything I could have asked for.

I don’t think reality hit me until we all had lunch with some of my family a few days before they were going to head back to their home. The day was going perfect. When they were leaving I hugged them last and followed them to the door. I did all I could to keep composure. I didn’t want them to see me cry. I was supposed to be strong.

Since M&A traveled back home I get to see pictures of Weston quite often. I am so grateful that they have allowed me to keep contact. They are so patient with me. Seeing him grow these last few months has been amazing. I look forward to seeing him continue to grow. Some days are harder than others, but I just remember the time we had together and hold on to the precious memories. I can’t wait to finally meet him again, until then I will love from afar.

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5 thoughts on “The Beginning

  1. So proud of your selfless decision. That is the greatest gift you can give to someone. People do not understand that you love your child so much, you want the BEST for him. I admire and respect you and your decision. The hardest decision you will ever have to make. You are a hero in my eyes. As a 10 year fertility patient, I know how precious life is. We waited year after year to get a call like M & A received. God did finally bless us with a child. Women like you are few and far between. I can’t express how happy I am for you and your “family.” I know you will have a beautiful journey. Weston is a lucky little boy. He has many people who love him and want the best for him. What a precious gift. You are amazing. Don’t doubt or forget that. I am proud to say I know you. HUGS!

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